Celebrity Anagrams–Guess Who!

Today’s anagram:

Good Blood, Moon

Did you guess?
Find out if you’re right!

The Only Thing I Will Ever Post About Jon and Kate Plus Eight

I have my own opinion about Jon and Kate Plus Schadenfraude.  Of course I do.  But I have a stronger opinion about the sensationalism of a story like this, and the loss of integrity that would come with writing about it, and so I’ve avoided mentioning it.  However, I just read a blog from the Huffington Post that gave a completely unique perspective on this story, has very little to do with the people involved, and actually says something  about our society instead of screaming obscenites at a woman in over her head.  Jon and Kate Plus You Should Hate Yourself For Caring:

 

Does it occur to anyone else that some of the criticism of Kate Gosselin, the mom in John and Kate plus Eight, is pure, unadulterated sexism? There is no doubt who is in charge in that household, who wears the pants if you will, and the nontraditional power relationship drives some of this public hostility.

Contrast the recent coverage screaming at us from the headlines of all those colorful magazines at the checkout stand. She gave him an allowance of $5? She travels while he stays home? He is a saint for getting the kids dressed once in awhile?

The Duggers, with 18 children, a made up religion that seems to advocate contempt for the rest of America, and a reality TV show on TLC, also have these same rules. But the pronouns are reversed. They stepped out of the ’50’s – the 1850’s that is – complete with long dresses and an absolute, unflinching patriarchy.

Why don’t I hear screeching about their parenting? Between the homeschooling, the physical construction work on the new house, and the system of letting the children parent each other, they are much farther from the American parenting norm than the Gosselins.

So go ahead and bag on her spray tan, her mullet in the making hair style, or her new boobs, but enough about her emasculating her husband. She’s not the next Lorena Bobbitt, just your average $75,000 a week reality TV star with 8 kids, a sloth of a husband and a book tour.

I’m Sorry: A Short Story

The following is a work of fiction and should be read as such.  It has nothing to do with anything, and it’s definitely not about you, Mister.

I don’t know why I do it.

It’s certainly not because I enjoy it.  Fighting, yelling, crying–none of it is my idea of a good time.  So why do I do it?  Why do I waste entire nights this way, nights that could be spent laughing and talking and fucking?

Try to Not Love Tom Hanks.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Duh of the Day

“I am a big fan of talking babies and their humor.”

–Eminem

Taken from a press release announcing that a cartoon Eminem will be hosting Fox’s Sunday Night Seizure lineup with Stewie Griffin. There’s actually a pretty good chance Eminem himself didn’t actually say that, but I choose to believe that he’s a big fan of other great talking baby comedians, such as the kid from the Look Who’s Talking movies and the stock broker baby from the commercial.

(via Videogum)

In other news, Seth MacFarlane’s Family Guy spinoff Cleveland! is being picked up for a second season before a single episode has aired. Plans are in the works for a theme park, restaurant chain, and airline.

The Problem With Mother’s Day Cards

I was standing in the drug store today, looking through Mother’s Day cards and thinking none of them said what I wanted them to.  Not that I was entirely sure what I wanted it to say.  My main goal was to find one that didn’t lie.

Look, I love my mother.  Of course I do.  But let’s not kid ourselves.  I don’t have wonderful memories of baking cookies and learning to put makeup on and watching sappy movies together.  Or whatever it is moms and daughters bond over.  We managed to get along while I was growing up, and we manage to get along now, and considering the circumstances that’s really the best I could hope for.  They don’t make that card.